I cannot even imagine being any more frustrated or upset or angry with myself.
I don’t want to get back on track because I’m feeling bummed out and hungry.
I need new clothes but don’t want to buy them for this extra weight I found.
The winter time always catches me depressed and craving carbohydrates.
I have a wedding coming up this summer that I have to slim down for.
Tomorrow I have to wear my bathing suit to the polar bear plunge.
I’ve been avoiding looking at my weight gain in the mirror.
I want to exercise but I am so sick of having to start over.
Every day I say it’s a fresh start, but then I see donuts.
I wish my family was a better healthy influence.
I’ve gained back all of the weight that I lost.
I will eventually feel better about myself.
I don’t feel good about myself right now.
Both of my parents are overweight. My brother has horrible eating habits. My boyfriend does not exercise. My friends would rather eat cake than carrots.
All around me it seems that the people I care about do not want the same thing as me. I’m not trying to coerce them into joining me on a weight loss excursion, but I would like them to take into account how difficult it is for me to be with people who are not only not participating in my activities, but whose actions go directly against my healthier lifestyle.
But how to tell your mother that even if you don’t eat seconds, it doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate her cooking?
How to tell your father that if you’d rather run on the treadmill in the morning than go out for donuts, you still love spending time with him?
To tell your brother that a whole bag of chips does not equate to a serving size seems an impossible task.
Telling your boyfriend that going for a walk is jus as nice as video games would be a struggle.
I have some ground work to lay down over the next few weeks while I’m back at home during winter break. And I think it’s about time that I set up a support system for myself so that my setting is actually working for me rather than against me.
As the year is winding down, I find myself reflecting upon everything that I’ve accomplished over the past many months.
I’ve run races, I’ve become pescetarian, I’ve started this blog, I’ve lounged on my butt, I’ve eaten healthier, I’ve lost weight, I’ve gained weight, I’ve lifted weight, I’ve bought new clothes, I’ve survived major food-based holidays, I’ve ignored the gym, I’ve tried cardioboxing.
Yes, I haven’t been perfect, but I have been happy.
It may seem a little early to be tallying up all that I’ve done this year as we still have a few weeks left in December, but lately I’ve been feeling a bit down.
It’s partly a result of the winter blues, partly the end of my challenge, and partly the fact that I’m in finals mode and want to combust. That’s why I need to remind myself:
I’ve been happy.
Life is constantly in flux, and I’m alright with that. I may be down right now, but it’s only a matter of time before I’m doing better than ever, and with the time to make New Year’s resolutions fast approaching, I’m sensing a renewed enthusiasm for my dedication to health and an upswing in time spent at the gym.
You know it’s time to make a change. You know that this unnecessary weight needs to come off. You know that those extra layers of fat are not making it any easier to live your life to the fullest. But how can you possibly resist when the peanut butter monster comes a calling?
How do you muster up the commitment, the motivation, the ability to maintain a new lifestyle far into the future?
For me, it works something like this:
- I decide I want to lose some lbs
- I research healthy eating and exercising and living and breathing habits
- I recognize all of the nasty habits that will keep those lbs on my bum
And now here’s the gold:
- When I want to do something bad, anything bad, when I just feel like I can’t live without that slice of chocolaty chocolate choco cake and my mouth starts to water just at the thought of reaching for a fork, I play/sing to “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley
- While I’m singing, I find something good, anything good to do, and I begin doing it while the song plays
- And while I’m writing a blog post or doing the dishes or hopping on the exercise bike or reading for class and that song is playing, I relax myself and focus on the good things that I can choose to do instead of feeling coerced into doing the activities that out-of-control-Katy loves the most (ex. pie eating contest for one)
Chocolaty chocolate choco cake for one please
- After taking more than enough time to actually think over what I’m about to do and the fact that I’m already doing something positive, it’s usually enough to get me to throw that chocolaty chocolate choco cake out of my sight.
- And if by the end of the song I still have that insatiable desire, I rinse and repeat by listening to “American Pie” by Don McLean, and that calms me down for sure
5 papers, 1 test, healthy food to prepare, a challenge to run and posts to write, a boyfriend to visit, a future job to find, an internship to prepare for, sports to attend, friends to reconnect with, Terp Thon fundraising, homework to finish, a project to plan, Thanksgiving to help organize, exercise to fit in, and Christmas gifts to buy. All take up space and time on my overwhelmed planner.
Some days I don’t even know what to do I feel so overwhelmed. Some days I have free time that must be used editing papers instead of relaxing with Netflix. Some days I just don’t want any of it!
But I do. Truly. Deep down. I want all of it or I wouldn’t be putting up with any it.
So I once more put my head down, brace my shoulders, and tackle the challenges ahead….all while looking at cute pictures of adorable kitty cats.
What’s your favorite song to jam out to while working on your fitness?
I’m such a fan of You Make My Dreams Come True and Mambo No. 5 that I could most likely run a marathon if they were on a constant loop.
And no wonder, considering:
- Music distracts you from your exertion
- Bopping to the beat improves your mood
- Tunes with a moderately fast beat make you work harder
- Songs help you get in the zone by recalling past performances
- Beats can help you stay on pace
- Music makes you want to move and is a great source of motivation
While I do love music, I can’t help but wish that eating Doritos provided these kinds of exercise benefits…