An Emotional Challenge

disappointmentI’m hurting and it’s not the good ache achieved after an hour spent running. This is the pain that only hurtful words and a lack of support can cause.

Over the weekend I was told by a loved one that:

  1. They didn’t like that I fall asleep so early.
  2. They didn’t like that I’ve become pescetarian.
  3. They didn’t like that I was becoming so health and fitness conscious.

I feel crushed. I’ve never had a great support system and there are many people in my life who don’t think me capable of achieving my goals or who don’t think I’m making the right decision. And it’s a crushing feeling that I’ve become accustomed to. However, how do you adapt when a personal pillar of support joins the others standing opposed to not just my choices, but myself? Because all of those “faults” define who I am.

  1. I fall asleep early because I’m a sleepy person and simply can’t help myself. That doesn’t mean that I’m not active and engaged the rest of the day. Why am I even bothered by this?
  2. I am a pescetarian because I care about animals and their happiness. That doesn’t mean that I am trying to force my view onto others.
  3. I have taken control of my health because I am miserable if I’m not caring for my body. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to drop other things from my life or change who I am.

They were the one who was suppose to be different. And now I’m once more left wondering what is so inherently wrong with me that I can’t seem to garner support for anything that I try to do in life.

What happens when I want to visit my friend in Israel over the summer? Where will my friends be when I make my post-graduation decision? Why can’t I still be loved when I lightly snooze while watching football?

be yourselfAfter a terrible day of eating a lot of absolute crap (though I won’t count it as a binge because I was in constant control), I realized that while this sucks majorly and makes my heart feel heavy, it shouldn’t be a reason to stop feeling good about myself and my accomplishments. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but that doesn’t mean that my opinions and feelings are of lesser importance than theirs. I have worked so darn hard to feel happy with my level of fitness and comfortable with my body, and I’m not going to let that feeling falter just because I have another hater.

I’m going to do what I want.

I’m going to be the healthiest me I can be.

I’m going to stop pitying myself and at least get a half hour in on the elliptical today.

dwight hurt feelings

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11 thoughts on “An Emotional Challenge

  1. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I have had similar reactions before. Usually people who criticize our “good” behavior are doing so because they feel threatened or they feel guilty for not being as “good” as us. It’s confusing because we know that it’s “good” behavior but they’re saying it’s not?!? Exercising and eating right is so hard, the last thing we need is someone discouraging us. It’s hard, but all we can do is remind ourselves that we’re doing this because it’s important to US and it really doesn’t matter what others think or say. True happiness (and health) comes to us when we stay true to what we value. This is where our self-respect comes from.
    I think when your loved one sees that you will not be de-railed from your plan and focus, they will eventually give up saying such hurtful things.

    • Thank you so much for that lovely comment. I really think it’s a combination of them not feeling as good and them feeling like I may try and change how they’re living. I will definitely try and stay true to who I am, but I may have a bumpy road there.

  2. *hugs* I wish I was able to say something that would make you feel better.

    Your situation however does remind me of the following quote:

    ‘Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind’

    I know I do not know you, and the only reason we know each other is because I randomly found your blog through the wordpress search engine, but you really have helped me to focus and actually do something about my health. It is something I am extremely grateful for. Quite honestly, I refer to everyone I’ve ‘met’ through this blog as my own virtual cheerleaders, as (so far) everyone has been nothing but lovely. I hope you know there are a lot of people here cheering you on too (me included!).

    I hope your workout goes well and that you feel heaps better soon!

    xo

    • I cannot thank you enough for how much this response has helped me. I absolutely love everyone that I’ve met through this too and I’m so lucky to have a support system through this challenge that will absolutely accept me for who I am. Thanks for cheering me on and I’ll be here for you too!

  3. That sucks that you have someone that isn’t being supportive of such a good thing you are doing for yourself. There must be a deeper reason behind their actions.
    I am glad that what they have said has not stopped you from pursuing your goals. Its good to know that when facing tough situations like these you are still able to be true to yourself and push through. ❤ We are all here in here to support one another and provide motivation. I truly get more motivation here sometimes than I do from the people in my life.

    • Thank you so so much and everyone has been absolutely incredible and supportive. They definitely have their own issues to sort out but that doesn’t stop it from hurting my feelings. But tomorrow is a new days and I’ll definitely continue to improve each day. Thank you so so much for your support

  4. I am sorry to hear that and I know that doesn’t change how you feel. I would say try talking to the person about the situation and be open and honest with them. Now with that being said you need to know the conversation might not have the outcome you want and desire. I hope they are open to your words and you both can get past this. However, there is a chance they may simply put you down more and not be open to how you feel. This will hurt and upset you, but at least you’ll know how they honestly feel about you and that can help you move forward. I am not saying you have to completely push that person out of your life, but life is too short to have negative people in your life if you can stay away from them as much as possible.

    I hope the challenge is going well and that you are keeping your eyes on your goals! You will be in my prayers!!

      • Welcome Katy. I don’t like to say this but people will let us down. It really hurts when it is someone we thought was competely behind us. I would try to talk with the person if you haven’t already, and try to get to the bottom of the issue. At least if you have to walk away, you know you tried to do the right thing first.

  5. i’ve gone through exactly the same thing…someone very close to me was completely not supportive of my decision to run a marathon…remember it like it was yesterday and i was so, so mad and hurt. after stewing on it for a long time, i realized that it really wasn’t anything to do with me, and more with their own insecurities. anyways, i hope you don’t let it get you too down and hope you continue on your journey re: health and fitness!

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