The Bite that Launched a Thousand Calories

pretzel nuggets

Sigh. I’ve done a bad thing.

Enter flashback.

Yesterday morning I was all cheers and smiles. I ate an oatmeal breakfast then had a turkey sandwich and fruit to follow up for a light lunch.

Enter trouble.

After 12:30 I didn’t get another chance to eat until 6:30. My grandparents came to visit and we were supposed to have a crab feast, but my Dad didn’t order enough for me because he thought I wouldn’t be home. There was no room at the table. I was feeling sleepy.

Enter food.

I grabbed a bag of pretzels (mistake 1, not using a bowl).

I believed that I could control myself (mistake 2, not portioning).

I tasted their salty deliciousness and could not stop myself from eating (mistake 3, snacking instead of eating dinner).

From then on I went on a tear. I ate cookies, a huge and unhealthy salad, Italian ice, and more pretzels. In large quantities.

Enter this morning.

I woke up determined not to continue this binge and to just forgive myself for yesterday’s transgressions. I even had a different blog topic for today about exercise…But instead, I accepted the invite to my pity party and wallowed in self doubt, loneliness, and a lack of self confidence, all with my trusty sidekick junk food by my side.

I know that I should just get back on track, but it is so difficult to forgive myself. To forget that I’ve hurt myself this badly. I know that I planned to love myself, but how can I love myself when I’m pushing down feelings of anger, frustration, and hatred at the same time.

Enter frustration.

For now, I’m going to try getting back on track.

For now, I’m going to continue with my exercise plan.

For now, I’m going to use this blog to avoid snacking temptation.

For the future, I’m going to conquer my binging problems, love myself, and consistently exercise and eat well.

Sigh.

An Apple a Day Keeps the Stress Away

Right now, I’m at work. And I’m stressed. Go figure.

While I would love nothing more than to reach into my kitchen closet (I’m working from home today where the nasty temptation monster lurks) and rip that bag of Chex Mix open, pouring chex, and pretzels, and those deliciously salty and seasoned pumpernickel pieces into my salivating mouth, I can’t.

But the craving is still there and this is the type of all consuming stress that only junk food can help alleviate.

Yet, being the good little happy healthy Katy that I am, I reached for an apple.

Blah! I don’t want an apple! It won’t help me destress! Ewww, I’m touching fruit!

cute applesBITE

Hey, that felt pretty satisfying…

CRUNCH

Yeah, take that apple!

*OTHER APPLE SOUND*

Hah! Don’t even mess with me!

Opting for an apple was the smartest thing I’ve done all day. I avoided temptation (though I’m not gonna lie, that Chex Mix still may not make it), ate something healthy, and destressed. All with a silly little red and juicy fruit.

an apple a day

<If you don’t like cheesiness, please stop reading here>

So, sorry strawberries, too bad bananas, bye-bye blueberries, it’s been real raspberries, later lemon! When I’m stressed, there’s only fruit that can be the  true apple of my eye.

Extreme Eating

garf

I wish I could take Garfield’s advice, I really do. Unfortunately, I’m an all or nothing type of gal.

This means that I’m either giving something 110% and getting neck cramps from sticking my nose so hard to the grindstone, or I’m ignoring that something completely and sticking my fingers in my ears going, “Lalalala. I can’t hear you!”

For those wondering, this is what a rainbow unicorn looks like.

For those wondering, this is what a rainbow unicorn looks like.

This makes it difficult to stay healthy.

When I’m healthy, I’m an engaging blogger (hopefully), enthusiastically lovin’ life, and taking adorable pictures of myself flipping my hair with a rainbow unicorn in the background.

When I’m unhealthy, I want to crawl under a rock with a bag of Doritos and never again see at the light of day.

I desperately wish there was a middle ground. I wish I could have my daily dose of peanut butter and exercise too. But I just don’t think that’s an option for me. Instead, I try my best to focus on constantly staying healthy (not that a piece of cake would send me plummeting into the abyss with nothing but fat pants to cushion my fall), because the other option is sending myself into a fatty foods funk that is darn near impossible to overcome.

Sorry Garfield, but let’s take an honest look at the amount of lasagna that you eat and then we’ll judge…

gar las

While I will always strive for moderation, I will accept my two extremes and try to find a compromise. While I will always strive for weight loss, I will accept any positive changes to reaching a healthier Katy. And while I will always mention Doritos and/or peanut butter in my blog posts, I will acknowledge their presence only in my virtual world, and not in my offline kitchen cabinet.

Pizza with a Side of Epiphanies

I haven’t had a great time these last couple of days. I’ve stressed over money, had intensely emotional fights with my brother, and been stuck in so much traffic that I’m beginning to wonder if others are in danger just from driving on the road with me. Needless to say, my eating habits haven’t been so stellar. In fact, they’ve been downright out of control.

stressed is desserts

I’ve been staying active a bit more than usual, which is a blessing since my diet would make a sumo wrestler cringe, and after bowling this morning, I decided to go out for lunch. I stopped by Firehouse Subs to enjoy a deliciously meaty sandwich, and felt so satisfied and full. While licking my fingers, I pondered, “Why would I ever need to snack? If I can just feel this way after my meals all the time, getting healthy will be a breeze!”

Now I know what you’re saying. Why are you talking about subs with the word “pizza” in your title?

For those sad folks who saw this coming, it’s because after my fantastical filling lunch, I stuffed myself with two cold, mediocre, heartburn inducing pieces of pizza. I cannot for the life of me figure out why I did this. What’s worse, I can’t figure out why, after the first unsatisfying slice, I ate a second!

I was willing to overlook this stupid pitfall, when I was hit by something other than heartburn, an epiphany.

If I saw anyone that I cared about, or even a stranger on the street for that matter, doing what I just did, I would stop them faster than you can say “pepperoni”. I would tell them, “You’re better than that. You should care about yourself more than that. You shouldn’t treat your body like that.” I would shake them until they truly understood, “You’re worth so much more than that pizza. You deserve to find happiness from life, not food. You are a special person deserving of your own love!”

love yourselfIf I would say that so readily to a stranger, it’s a bit sad that I’ve struggled to say it to myself.

But not anymore.

I love myself and deserve to have my body treated with respect and reverence.

And you all should feel the same.

When the Clock Strikes Nine, The Hungry Will Dine

I’m innocently lounging around on my couch. The TV is occasionally tuned in to something on TLC. Perhaps I’m in the midst of writing a blog. I could be knee deep in an Agatha Christie mystery. It may even be the case that I’m taking a moment to rest my eyes.

And then it happens.

cheesecake o'clock

The clock strikes nine.

In a zombie-like trance I shuffle into the kitchen. My books and comfy couch forgotten, I open the food pantry door with a stealth I didn’t know I could possess. The crickets silence. The lights dim. A sudden glimpse of my cat’s tail darting around the corner hints at the terror that will soon follow.

My intense stare falls upon the food.

And then it happens.

The ravenous beast lurking somewhere in the depths of my belly comes alive and transforms this carrot and hummus munching day-goer into an ice-cream and candy creature of the night. Popsicles, popcorn, Pop Tarts, nothing will survive as I conquer the kitchen and mark what is rightfully mine.

Actual photo representation of my transformation.

Actual photo representation of my transformation.

And then it happens.

cat in food bowl

As if waking up from a deep sleep, I truly open my eyes to a scene of utter carnage and destruction. Wrappers litter the counter space as the trashcan overflows with bags of chips so empty that not even a crumb remains.

How could this have happened again?

Who could ever tame the savage beast?

Why do we keep buying deliciously creamy and tempting jars of peanut butter in the house?!

Walkin’ On Sunshine

Lately, it’s been hot. Darn hot. In addition to frizzing up my hair, this heat and humidity has banished me to the air conditioned, yet slightly depressing basement in order to complete my workouts.

I’ve been able to run on the treadmill or ellipticize on the elliptical while watching TV, reading a book, or enjoying the hum of the AC unit, but unfortunately I’ve missed out on a lot of green gleeful great things that come with exercising outside.

When I realized this morning that I had a brief window of opportunity to actually workout, I leaped at the chance (I think my feet literally left the ground with excitement), laced up my shoes, and hit the neighborhood trails.

At first, I contemplated running outside, but it was so beautiful and nice and fresh out that I wanted to savor every minute of the bluest skies and cutest bunny rabbits hopping by. So I walked. I walked for 45 minutes. I walked while listening to positive and upbeat music. I walked and waved to neighbors I had long neglected. I walked with a smile on my face. I walked on sunshine.

Yay outdoors!

Yay outdoors!

Exercise promotes happiness, but I’d forgotten that while starring at the dusty yellow walls in my basement. It just took a change of scenery and an excited demeanor to completely reinvigorate my feelings towards exercise. Woohoo!

IMG_2258IMG_2253

Sorry, I would have taken more pictures, but I was busy exercising!

Do I Really Even Like Blueberries That Much?

blueberries 2

My background for this site is blueberries. Blue blue blueberries. Blue blueberries with a blue boarder and blue edging.

blueberries 3

My favorite color is yellow. My favorite fruit is strawberries. My favorite berry is cranberry. Why is my background filled with occasionally tart and frequently messy blueberries?

What once looked so fresh and inviting is now causing me to question my design choice. Do I really even like blueberries that much? Is there even one food out there that I can use to represent myself, my writing style, my vision for this blog? My favorite food is peanut butter, but that doesn’t mean it belongs as the centerpiece on a blog dedicated to health and nutrition.

blueberries 1

I think I’ll keep this layout for a while, but as a reader you should be aware that the blueberries were merely chosen on a whim and in no way represent myself on a symbolically deep level. I just thought it looked better than the bananas, but still, I don’t even like blueberries that much.